MARRY WITH SENSE.
Love is so sweet that you can easily get carried away. Trust me, love is the foundation in a marriage. I also believe you need more than just love . There are a few things to put into consideration and discuss with your partner first before getting married. People don’t always tell you how hard it’s going to be. It is not always a fairytale. Havilah Olohi Gold wrote, “The biggest error a woman can make is marrying a man she has never provoked”. It is important to know how he manages his anger,before saying I do. There are going to be disagreements and difficult times. Taking time to discuss the important issues i’m about to share with you, will save you a lot of heartache later on if they ever arise.
1). You cannot change him. Believe who he is now.
2). Do you have same beliefs, interest and financial goals? Are you both financially responsible ?
3). How will the Bills be paid? Who is paying what and who is taking care of food and house supplies?
4). How many kids you can afford .
5). Joint account or not? I suggest you also have your own personal account too.
6). House owner titles . If your name is not enlisted, It is not advisable to contribute to be payment without proof. If anything like divorce happens, there is a possibility you ain’t getting a dime. In the past, you could easily, but it is a long legal process these days with a high chance of you loosing. This is a recent update based on reliable sources of women that are in the fight to get a percentage today. It’s amazing how some lovers turn to enemies. Not to scare you, but reality!
7). Be your self. If you are lazy, let your future spouse know you are lazy. Let them know you hate to cook, you love to sleep, you snore, you hate to go grocery shopping etc. Just be real. That way, you will not live a miserable life of trying to be someone else. It is best they love you for who you really are. They will manage you like that 😂🤣.
8). Are you sexually compatible? You can’t be a sex freak and wanna marry someone that wants to only have sex for procreation 🙄. You will suffer oh. Marry a freak like you 😜!
9). A spouse that encourages you to be a better person in terms of career upgrades and financial freedom goals, is a keeper.
10). Stay away from partners that frown when you are happy doing social things you love to do, like, dancing, traveling, pictures, eating, singing , meeting new people etc.
11). How does your partner treat and relate with their family? Watch that closely. Can they make concrete decisions without involving their “parents or siblings ” ? . Do they respect your opinions?
12). Discuss raising kids. We were all raised differently. Does his /her strategy blend well with yours?
13). Do you wanna have kids after few years of marriage or right away? I would personally say, enjoy your first few years of marriage TOGETHER before bringing in kids if time is on your side.
Above all, love yourself enough to love your spouse.
Feel free to add yours to the list. I will love to read from you.
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