MY FIRST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXPERIENCE.
I went out for dinner with my friends . While we were eating dinner, a girl ran inside and rushed to hide somewhere. Few seconds later, a guy ran inside screaming . With fear, the girl came out of her hiding place. The guy gave her a sounding slap in the face, pushed her to the ground, and grabbed her keys and phone from her. Mind you, there were kids inside the restaurant with their parents.
Everything happened so fast. None of us called 911 because it happened so quick with shock. It was like a movie. She ran outside to meet the guy. She held on to the car, and he drove off while she was holding onto the car. She fell on the floor and the animal drove off. He looked like he could have a weapon with him, so everyone watched from a distance.
The girl looked so confused. She cried for a bit and stopped like nothing happened. We walked up to her. I gave her a hug. She had so many piercings, and tattooed all over , so many old and new bruises . She was dressed very very inappropriate ( looked like a costume for strippers).
Note : I am not one to judge people by their appearances. But some can’t be ignored. We are all a lil judgemental about certain things consciously and unconsciously.
We all gave her a group hug for a few minutes. She held us tight and did not wanna let go. You could tell this young girl needed to feel loved. I told her to call the police and report this. She said he is her boyfriend. He lives with her and eats her food and beats her up at the slightest provocation. What???? So you mean this MF has no job too?? .
She couldn’t look at me in the eye when I was talking to her. I instructed her to look me in the eye. I told her these words ” You are beautiful and you deserve better ” . This young lady was silent for a minute and responded back to me that she is ugly, useless and stupid. This broke my heart??. How can this beautiful girl say she is ugly and useless? She showed us the Mark’s on her body ??. She had huge scars on her face and all over her thighs, arms and legs. She said ” this is the life I effing live” . We begged her not to go back home. I gave her my phone to call her mom. She said her mom will not let her come to the house. That was shocking. We encouraged her to call. She eventually did.
READ THE SHOCKING CONVERSATION BETWEEN HER AND HER MOM ?.
This girl called her mom. She had it on speaker so we could hear her conversation.
Victim : hey mom, can I come over please?
Victim’s mom : for what? I have no space for you.
Victim: mom please, my bf just beat me up again. He is crazy.. I don’t wanna go back home.
Victim’s mom : oh whatever, same old shit. Just walk in and ignore him. Go straight to bed.
Victim : mom please. Pls mom pls. I will sleep on the floor , I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I don’t wanna go back home.
Victim’s mom : oh f$#k … ok, come Geezzz.
She deleted her mom’s number and gave me back my phone. We asked where her mom lives. It was far from us. She had no money. We gave her money. I asked for her phone number so I could help her with resources here for shelter. She refused. She said she’s been to shelter so many times. She isn’t going back. I asked for her phone number, she was very hesitant. So I gave her mine to call me. It’s been over a month now. She still hasn’t called me.
My heart bleeds for that young girl. A 22 year old beautiful girl that already thinks she is ugly and useless. Her mother’s response made me weak. She probably went back to that monster. I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s one thing to offer help, call the police, provide resources, and its another thing for the victim to be ready to leave and take all the help rendered. You can’t force a horse to drink water.
Low self esteem can make people settle for bullshit. There are things we as parents do that can make a child have a positive or negative self esteem. Make sure you tune in for that interview on how to raise kids with a high positive self esteem with Teresa Syms. The foundation matters. It is never too late to be informed. I will post keynotes here incase you miss the interview. I will also try my best to upload the video here. Say no to domestic violence. Teach your kids self love.
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